curmudgeon: There was a fire at the local candle factory. Fire brigade turned up and we all circled the building and sun Happy birthday.
Nov 5, 2019 11:37:06 GMT
minorkey: How do you get a coloured background behind your profil pic?
Nov 6, 2019 12:39:39 GMT
minorkey: I studied sheep husbandry at university, did really well, came away with a B A A...
Nov 9, 2019 12:06:07 GMT
walkingdecay: My son's description of being drunk: "I feel as if I've suddenly got three eyes and I can only see through one of them at a time." The lad should write, he really should.
Nov 11, 2019 9:49:34 GMT
curmudgeon: I went to see a specialist about my short-term memory problems. The first thing the bugger did was make me pay in advance!
Nov 11, 2019 19:42:24 GMT
curmudgeon: Barman: "I’m sorry, we don't serve time travelers". - A time traveler walks into a bar.
Nov 11, 2019 20:30:17 GMT
minorkey: A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'sorry we don't serve your kind'. The horse replies' oh so what kind of horse do you serve?'
Nov 11, 2019 20:45:02 GMT
ocarolan: Man walks into a bar. Shoulda ducked.
Nov 12, 2019 10:29:46 GMT
minorkey: Mongoes into a bar. Barman says Sorry we don't serve fruit juice here"
Nov 12, 2019 14:21:56 GMT
curmudgeon: A bar walks into a man - no, that's wrong - frack to bunt. I'll start again .... oh never mind.
Nov 12, 2019 15:58:30 GMT
curmudgeon: A Pun, a limerick and a double entendre walk into a bar ..... no joke!
Nov 12, 2019 16:02:32 GMT
minorkey: A man tries to walk into a bar, but he can't get in for all the other people trying to get into the bar
Nov 13, 2019 8:03:55 GMT
colins: Horse goes in to a bar, barman says 'why the long face?'
Nov 15, 2019 10:19:44 GMT
curmudgeon: An Amnesiac walked into a bar .....can't ...remember ....why ....
Nov 15, 2019 15:23:04 GMT
ocarolan: An ancient Roman walks into a bar, hold up two fingers, and says, "Five beers please."
Nov 16, 2019 9:10:54 GMT
walkingdecay: Just listening to some Bernstein played to perfection by Sophie Mutter. I heard something new, a sort of perfectly pitched ullulation that the violin seemed to float on. It was magical. Turned out I was hearing the sounds caused by a running tap.
Nov 16, 2019 20:46:13 GMT
ocarolan: ..can't tell tap talk from Mutter eh Pete?
Nov 16, 2019 22:36:50 GMT
walkingdecay: Teehe! I now have deep respect for the musical abilities of plumbing. Any future house move will be dependent on how well the pipework auditions.
Nov 18, 2019 9:52:41 GMT
minorkey: My fellows, we need a name for this device our friend invented for storing large amounts of water to be retrieved with a bucket. Any ideas? "Well..." That's it!
Nov 19, 2019 16:36:03 GMT